If you watch one video on the web this week, let it be Spencer Ackerman’s takedown of life inside the beltway.
“Why you can’t trust women. Even young girls. Can’t know what the fuck they are thinking, can’t know what they are feeling, can’t know how they will surprise you except to know it won’t be a surprise you will like.”
— Joyce Carol Oates, Little Bird of Heaven
“Let us leave pretty women to men with no imagination.”
— Marcel Proust, In Search of Lost Time, Vol. 5
gorgeous. From Sacrebleu Productions.
And one day, I want to vote for a woman who’s made sex tapes, done lots of drugs, and doesn’t believe in god.
LET’S JUST ADMIT THAT YOU ONLY BECAME A HIPSTER BECAUSE NO ONE INVITED YOU TO THE ‘COOL KID’ PARTIES IN HIGH SCHOOL. YOU MIGHT HAVE THE SEXIEST FIXED GEAR EVER OR THE SICKEST RECORD COLLECTION ON THE EAST COAST BUT YOU BECAME THIS ELITIST PRICK, THE EXACT SAME KIND OF ELITIST PRICK THAT DIDN’T INVITE YOU TO TARA NEWTON’S BIRTHDAY BASH, BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T ATHLETICALLY INCLINED OR VERY SEXY.
INSTEAD OF BECOMING THIS ALL-INCLUSIVE PUBLIC FIGURE WHO EMBRACES THE DISILLUSIONED YOU GET A HALF-SLEEVE AND A CAFE JOB AND TALK SHIT ON EVERYTHING IMAGINABLE LIKE YOU INVENTED IT, ESSENTIALLY BECOMING THE THING THAT MADE YOU, IN SOME SAD SORT OF OUROBORIC FEEDBACK LOOP, WHEN YOU SHOULD IN FACT BE THE MOST WELCOMING, TOLERANT PERSON ON EARTH, KNOWING THAT YOUR ENTIRE PERSONALITY IS BASED ON BEING EXCLUDED FROM THE THINGS YOU WANTED SO DESPERATELY TO BE A PART OF AS A TEENAGER.
DON’T GET ME WRONG, I LIKE YOUR BIKE, BUT GO FUCK YOURSELF.
Russian Army Men StripTease
What real men do when they are in the army? Dance for each other.
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